Our Tips For Your Resolution

Mediation – An Alternative Dispute Resolution Process

April 2020 - Zoe-Lou Morris AAMINZ Dispute Resolution Practitioner

 There are parties out there who had legal obligations to other parties prior to the COVID-19 outbreak. However, in light of the Government having imposed the Alert Level 3 and 4 restrictions, a number of those obligations can no longer practically or realistically be fulfilled.

 What does this mean?

 For those parties unable to fulfill their obligations, the mediation process may be an option as a means of resolving the dispute. Since the restrictions of Alert Level 4, we have witnessed some extraordinary challenges. During these troubling times, however, New Zealanders are experiencing a sense of togetherness and honouring the importance of relationships. Mediation captures these positive attributes and offers third-party facilitation to promote the resolution of conflict.

 The Mediation Process

 The mediation process provides a safe and confidential environment for parties to share issues and interests with the aim of reaching a mutual agreement.

 Concerns such as financial limitations or psychological harm, especially triggered now by COVID-19 can be reduced or even eliminated due to the informal and consensual nature of mediation. The relationship between the parties is preserved as the mediator promotes fairness and neutrality during the process.

Future-focused

 Mediation is the least aggressive form of alternative dispute resolution, whereby the mediator has no power to enforce a settlement on the parties. For this reason, the process will prove to be less stressful than other adjudicative processes. Finally, the discussions during mediations are future-focused. This encourages parties to be forward-thinking with their greater goals in mind and move away from the stress and anger of the past.

 Online Mediation

 Every step of the mediation process is achievable through virtual meetings online. It continues to be the mediator's responsibility to ensure a meeting is still safe and confidential, and that protocols will be implemented to ensure this will remain the case throughout the process.

 Final Remarks

 It is at this moment that one should have absolute trust in the process they choose. There are enough doubts, concerns and worries with what the coming months might bring. Explore your options, prioritise your mental well-being, and please reach out should you have any questions at all. We're all in this together.

 Take Care,

Zoe-Lou | zoe-lou@yourresolution.co.nz | +64 21 024 30987 | Covid-19

Resolve Conflict Within Your Bubble

April 2020 - Zoe-Lou Morris AAMINZ Dispute Resolution Practitioner

 We are all being confined to our bubbles with the goal of eliminating the spread of Covid-19 (Coronavirus) - the health and safety of New Zealander's is the top priority. However, we have never experienced this type of isolation. We have never spent so much time in a bubble with our partners' or our flatmates or our families and without the presence of other people or external distractions like work or sports. Conflict is going to occur within your bubble. And that's ok. Conflict is normal and it also has positives you can take from it.

 Accept that we aren't programmed to adjust to these strict conditions with the switch of a button. We're all in this together! I have summarised four key elements to help you address a dispute and to help resolve conflict within your bubble. We'll all get through this together!

  1. ANALYSE - What's going on? What's happened?
  2. PLAN - Start generating ideas to fix this situation. What would you like to do AND what would you like to happen to be able to move past these struggles?
  3. DISCUSS - Communicate and exchange your differences. Initiate a discussion, the other party might not be aware that there is a problem.
  4. Jointly GENERATE OPTIONS to move forward. Put your ideas into writing, these can be eliminated or altered along the way and hopefully your final compromise or agreement will then be visually in front of you on the table. Once something is in writing it can also be referred to in later time or reflected upon if you need reminding as to what responsibilities were agreed upon. If you're stuck or confused send us a txt or email - we'd really like to help where we can to make this very strange time a little more comfortable.

Reach out if you would like raise your current dispute and possibilities of moving forward. No obligations at all; available over email & phone 021 024 30987

Navigating conflict

March 2020 -Zoe-Lou Morris AAMINZ Dispute Resolution Practitioner 

 Before signing an agreement to mediate. Before even considering mediation. Think about the bigger picture. Your Future. One step of the mediation process with Your Resolution is to learn about navigating conflict. A skill that you will be able to take away with you and utilise in everyday life. Most of us face conflict multiple times a day and it’s how we respond to these situations that either leads to an agreement or a disagreement.

 What is conflict? 

I see it as an interference between peoples’ needs, wants and goals. It’s that brief moment where you feel yourself holding onto your breath for one second too long, leading you to question your response. Learning to navigate these moments will let you make conscious decision when dealing with the next step.

 To successfully navigate conflict we need to explore four questions:

  1. What is my position?
  2. What is the value of the potential outcome for me?
  3. What is the value for the other person?
  4. What might my greatest loss be?

 Now you are able to approach the situation with your end goal in view. Once you have gained an understanding of those key questions you will begin to value the importance and benefits of them. It’s then only a matter of time until this thought process becomes second nature to you. During the mediation process with Your Resolution you will go through these steps with the guidance of a qualified mediator before coming together with the other person. This will remain confidential and will take place in private. Both parties will have the same fair opportunity to do this. You will gain confidence and clarity when attempting to reach an agreement. Have any questions? I will respond as promptly as I can.

Zoe-Lou | zoe-lou@yourresolution.co.nz | +64 21 024 30987

Change Yourself - Not Others

Zoe-Lou Morris AAMINZ Dispute Resolution Practitioner 

 One of the more positive “Ah-huh” blogs I recently came across was written by a former federal tax judge named Carolyn Parr, entitled ‘Three Questions To Ask Yourself’, which offers guidance for overcoming relationship disputes.

 Attempting to change the "other" person seems to be the go-to when an argument arises between couples. In the blog, Parr addresses this as the problem people face when the road gets bumpy in their relationship. And this often occurs because we make assumptions. Take a breath, and consider the facts. A technique that Parr suggests is to write a list of all the things you know, as well as all the things you don’t know.

"Stay open to the thought you might be wrong" - Carolyn Parr

 You might be able to change the relationship through changing yourself. Avoid challenging yourself to change someone else, it’s worthless.

You are in control

 Quite often we let our emotions cloud our judgment allowing for assumptions to be made. Yes, we LET this happen. You are in control of your mind and body, and you can direct your thoughts. This will come with its own rewards of self-fulfillment and confidence. Using simple techniques, like the one mentioned above, will assist you in gaining control of your heightened emotions, as well.

 Change doesn’t have to be difficult. Reach out to your friends or family for validation and support. Or, for confidential and professional guidance contact Your Resolution

 Click HERE to read the original article on LinkedIn.

 Since immersing myself in the field of dispute resolution I have become more active on LinkedIn. Networking is made easy and tools to learn from are right in front of you. Make the most of them!

 Click HERE to join my LinkedIn network.

Thoughts & Feelings

March 2019 - Zoe-Lou Morris AAMINZ Dispute Resolution Practitioner 

 I like to remind myself that emotion is an expression of how I’m feeling. It gives me the opportunity to become aware of my feelings and reflect on them. But, sometimes diving into our feelings will hold us back from moving on. We are stuck in a clouded bubble of sadness, anger, frustration, or whatever our current feeling may be.

 When I find my mind drifting toward how I’m feeling and, as a result, lose focus on the ‘here and now’, I like to redirect my attention to what I’m thinking. This quick change in thought process allows me to gain some control over my emotions and lets me rationally think about the present. The clouded bubble of emotion is popped! 

 I am a true believer of this technique during mediation as well. Quite often we see two people sitting together at a table, one trapped by their feelings, and the other unable to discuss any feelings. A great mediator should be able to assist the parties to see both perspectives, combining thoughts and feelings. Essentially, creating an environment in which a mutual resolution can be reached.

 Flick me an email if you have any questions or would like to learn more.

 Contact Your Resolution anytime for guidance through conflict.

Behavioural Patterns & Conflict

February 2019 - Zoe-Lou Morris AAMINZ Dispute Resolution Practitioner 

 Have you ever told yourself off for the way you approached an argument? Or seemed shocked by the way someone else spoke to you when things got heated? A disagreement can sometimes bring out the worst in us, for this reason, it’s good to think about what our personality traits are so that we can anticipate our own actions and learn more about others’ reactions. This ultimately gives us the strength to lead.

 The way we might approach conflict is very much reflected in our behavioural patterns. Let’s take a look at the two contrary personality types, Type A and Type B, developed in the 1950’s by two cardiologists, Meyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman. [I would highly recommend looking into their research to find out about how they came about this theory – it’s a fun read]. A person with Type A behavioural patterns will tend to be competitive, fast-paced and hostile or aggressive. Whereas, a person with Type B behavioural patterns will be relaxed, patient and easy going. Where do you see yourself?

 Knowing and understanding your own personality type can help guide you through conflict. Moreover, having the ability to be more aware of other peoples’ personality types will give you the confidence to manage conflict and reach Your Resolution.

 We are here to talk openly about conflict and assist you through negotiations.

 For a confidential, one on one, session with a conflict coach email: zoe-lou@yourresolution.co.nz or call: 021 024 30987.

 Sessions are personalized to suit You and cost $120+GST per hour (minimum one hour).

 Or to arrange a FREE 15min phone meeting to establish the best option for You please email info@yourresolution.co.nz with ‘FREE15’ in the subject line.

 For further reading on the findings of the personality theory developed by Rosenman and Friedman take a read through:

McLeod, S. A. (2017). Type A personality. Click HERE

Rosenman, R. H., Brand, R. J., Sholtz, R. I., & Friedman, M. (1976). Multivariate prediction of coronary heart disease during 8.5 year follow-up in the Western Collaborative Group Study. The American Journal of Cardiology.

 All prices are listed in NZD and do not include any travel costs.

Conflict Management

January 2019 - an extract from the Harvard Business Review by Gill Corkindale

 So what are the ways to manage conflict? How can managers ensure that it does not escalate out of control? According to the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Instrument, there are five key styles for managing conflict:

Forcing — using your formal authority or power to satisfy your concerns without regard to the other party’s concerns

Accommodating — allowing the other party to satisfy their concerns while neglecting your own

Avoiding — not paying attention to the conflict and not taking any action to resolve it

Compromising — attempting to resolve the conflict by identifying a solution that is partially satisfactory to both parties but completely satisfactory to neither

Collaborating — co-operating with the other party to understand their concerns in an effort to find a mutually satisfying solution

 Another way to look at conflict is to decide the relative importance of the issue and to consider the extent to which priorities, principles, relationships or values are at stake. Power is also an important issue – how much power do you have relative to the other person?

 As a rule, I would suggest collaboration is the way to deal with important issues, although forcing can sometimes be appropriate if time is an issue. For moderately important issues, compromising can lead to quick solutions but it doesn’t satisfy either side, nor does it foster innovation, so collaboration is probably better. Accommodating is the best approach for unimportant issues as it leads to quick resolution without straining the relationship.

 And lest we forget, conflict does have a positive side: it can promote collaboration, improve performance, foster creativity and innovation and build deeper relationships.

 For a confidential, one on one, session with a conflict coach email: zoe-lou@yourresolution.co.nz or call: 021 024 30987.

 Sessions are personalized to suit You and cost $120+GST per hour (minimum one hour).

 Or to arrange a FREE 15min phone meeting to establish the best option for You please email info@yourresolution.co.nz with ‘FREE15’ in the subject line.

 All prices are listed in NZD and do not include any travel costs.

Channeling Your Emotions

December 2018 - Zoe-Lou Morris

 In the heat of an argument it is common to feel emotions such as; anger, frustration, hate or disappointment. These strong emotions have the potential to get even more intense as time passes, for example, when you’re reflecting back on the argument or situation.

 The key skill, is to channel these feelings so they can be used to assist you in achieving what you want, allowing you to move forward 

 A tip from the team at Your Resolution;

Understand that the emotions you're feeling are giving you energy. Ask Yourself; Where would you like to invest this energy?

Request a free phone or online meeting to learn more.

Benefits of Mediation

November 2018 - Zoe-Lou Morris

 Did you know...

  1. You are the decision maker! The mediator has absolutely NO decision making power.
  2. Mediation is a consensual dispute resolution process. Both parties must agree to the decision for it to become binding.
  3. All information exchanged is completely confidential, and privileged. Everything remains private.

Your Resolution doesn’t need to be money or time consuming, and it definitely shouldn’t stress you out...Request a free phone or online meeting to learn more.

Mediation & Conflict Resolution Services
info@yourresolution.co.nz
+64 21 024 30987